It’s Not You, Its Your NAF

• How many times have you tossed and turned,  unable to sleep,  reliving that unsuccessful conversation you had today,  angry with yourself about the things you said,  or didn’t say?

• How many times have you conceded,  given up,  and not continued in the direction you really wanted to,  just because you thought you wouldn’t succeed or weren’t good enough?

• How many times have you said “Yes” when you really wanted to say “No,” just because you felt awkward?

• How many times have you stood in front of that mirror,  examining all your physical “imperfections,” and tortured yourself about them all day,  and the day after?

Does that sound familiar? How many of those thoughts go through our heads every day and refuse to give us a moment’s peace,  even at night when we try to fall asleep? How much of each day is occupied by these negative thoughts rushing around in our brains,  confusing us,  undermining us,  and stopping us? Keeping us from attracting positive things into our lives – things we really want,  dream about,  long for? Isn’t it time to put an end to it all? How much longer can we wear out our brains with so many exhausting thoughts? There is a way to silence that negative voice we all know so well,  the one that constantly echoes in our brain.  We can turn things around and begin to take control of our lives.  We can attract what we want and are interested in,  and not what our negative voices dictate to us.

Meet the NAF,  our Negative Attractive Factor.   Our NAF is our negative voice that leads us to attract into our lives what we do not want and what is not good for us.  The NAF creates our current situation and prevents us from changing it to one we truly desire.  In short,  it keeps us from being attractive! How does it do this? The NAF instills us with fear,  and,  as a result,  determines the vibes we send out.  The most dominant of these vibes are negative vibes,  the ones that eventually attract the things we don’t want in our lives. 

I’m not talking about merely one voice that threatens us.  There’s a whole chorus of negative voices singing within us,  and we listen to them with our eyes shut.  The amazing thing is how easy it is for us to get lost inside our negative voices.  We fail to even recognize them as negative.  We believe that our faults and inabilities are innate weaknesses and character flaws.  Why don’t we listen to our positive,  optimistic voices in the same unquestioning way?

The most important part of coping with the negative voice in our lives is the understanding that this voice is not us! It’s just a particular voice inside us,  one of many.  Yet even though it’s only one of our voices,  it silences the other ones to the point where we can no longer hear them.  All our negative voices combine into a single,  very convincing dominant voice and we behave according to its demands.  We send out negatives vibes,  and...  yes,  we attract what we don’t want into our lives. 

To return to a balanced state,  we’ll need to re-separate ourselves from our negative voice and learn to listen to the other voices echoing within us – the optimistic ones that,  over time,  were pushed aside and disappeared.

Think of it as a zipper.  Today it’s closed – we’re attached to our negative voice as one unit.  Our objective is to open the zipper to separate the two individual halves.  We are one entity and our negative voice is another separate entity.  Once we have separated the two parts from each other,  we can develop an awareness of the very existence of our negative voice.  We can recognize it,  observe it from a distance,  and relate to the whole matter with less identification and less emotional involvement.  And most importantly,  we can begin to release ourselves from the control of our negative voice.  We can turn the tide and begin to take control of our own lives.  We can attract what we are interested in and most desire,  not what our negative voice dictates to us.

Remember:  We attract into our lives everything that we’re thinking about,  focusing on,  and emphasizing (good or bad,  positive or negative.) The Law of Attraction responds to the vibes we send out by giving us back more of the same,  for better or for worse. 

Imagine the following scenario:  You’ve recently divorced and you’re interested in meeting someone new.  A nice guy who could become your new life partner.  Someone fond of your children,  attentive to your needs.  All in all,  someone who’ll make your life pleasurable rather than miserable.

Option A: Your NAFs are echoing through your mind: “There’s no way you’re going to find a man.  You always attract the ones you don’t want.  You’ll never succeed in a relationship.” Frustrated,  you say,  half-moaning,  “I want to find a man.”

Option B: You’re sending out positive vibes of excitement and anticipation.  According to the Law of Attraction,  you will attract men – many men – regardless of your outward appearance.  And of all of them,  you’ll be able to choose the one you want!

The reason,  in either case,  is very simple.  We attract to our lives what we focus on,  think about,  and believe in – for better or for worse.  That’s the Law of Attraction.

To Each Her Own NAF

And now,  I’ve got news for you.  Each and every one of us has a NAF.  But each of us has her personal,  particular type of NAFs.  As you probably know,  that “asset” does not belong to women alone.  Our friends,  men,  suffer from NAFs to the same degree.  But their types are male NAFs,  and that’s the subject of another book…

Our NAF has a many-branched,  hopelessly tangled family tree,  consisting of generations of NAFs – brothers,  sisters,  cousins,  grand-parents,  you name it.  Each of these NAFs has a name and specific function.  Each specializes in a particular kind of bullying.

There’s a NAF responsible for our fear of stating our opinions publicly.  It echoes through our head and tells us that the minute we say what we think,  people will make fun of us,  get angry,  or become hurt.  After that NAF says what it has to say,  we actually attract these undesirable situations into our lives.  It’s true,  our expectations come true. 

There’s a NAF responsible for the suffering our outward appearance causes us.  It tells us constantly that we’re fat,  that we’ve gotten old,  and that we’re not attractive.  There’s a NAF responsible for our fear of illness.  It tells us that every doctor’s visit will bring on a catastrophe.

And on and on.  The list continues...

What are your NAFs?